Fake It Till You Make It: The Art of Becoming Before You Arrive and Ditching Imposter Syndrome

By Michi Nogami, Life Coach & Mindset Strategist

The phrase “fake it till you make it” has echoed through generations of dreamers, leaders, and self-starters. It sounds empowering — a confidence mantra for those stepping into new territory. But while the intent behind it is often to inspire courage, the way it’s lived out can sometimes create emotional dissonance.

As a life coach, I see this concept play out often in people striving for success: professionals forcing confidence they don’t feel, creatives masking insecurity, or individuals chasing an image of “togetherness” they haven’t yet built internally. The problem isn’t in the making it — it’s in the faking it.

The Connection Between “Faking It” and Feeling Like an Imposter

At its best, “fake it till you make it” encourages embodying belief before evidence catches up. It’s about acting in alignment with the person you’re becoming rather than the person you’re leaving behind. This form of mental rehearsal helps the brain build new processes and confidence through repetition.

For example:

• Speaking with composure even when you feel nervous helps your mind recognize that you can handle discomfort.

• Dressing the part or maintaining professionalism can reinforce your sense of competence.

• Setting boundaries or asserting yourself before you feel “ready” teaches your nervous system that self-worth is safe and deserved.

In this light, “faking it” isn’t about deceit — it’s practicing presence in your potential.

But there’s a troubling side to this mindset. When “faking it” turns into forsaking yourself, it can lead to emotional exhaustion and self-doubt. That’s where imposter syndrome often takes root.

Imposter syndrome is the internal experience of feeling like a fraud, even when you’re capable and qualified. It whispers:

“You’re not ready.”

“You don’t belong.”

“Someone’s going to find out you don’t deserve this.”

It tends to appear when your external progress outpaces your internal belief — when your life begins reflecting the person you’re becoming, but your mind hasn’t yet accepted it. You’re doing the thing, showing up, achieving, performing… yet still feel undeserving or out of place.

Here’s the truth:

You’re not an imposter for becoming who you want to be before you’ve fully arrived.

You’re just in progress.

That in-between space — where you’re practicing confidence but haven’t yet integrated it — is where alignment is built. The discomfort you feel isn’t failure; it’s the growing pain of identity catching up with aspiration.

Where “Fake It Till You Make It” Still Works

Used with self-awareness, the phrase can serve as a tool for embodied belief — a reminder to show up as the version of yourself your goals require. This is about behavioral alignment, not pretense: doing what your confident, grounded, future self would do now, even if it feels uncomfortable.

That’s not deception — it’s deliberate conditioning. You’re training your mind and nervous system to feel safe in a new identity.

Each small act of courage — speaking up, setting a boundary, claiming your space — tells your brain, “This is who we are becoming.”

Where “Faking It” Becomes a Trap

The danger comes when pretending replaces practicing. When you hide insecurities instead of working through them, or when your confidence becomes a costume rather than a commitment to growth, your self-image fractures.

That’s when imposter syndrome intensifies — because your external presentation no longer matches your internal reality. You might appear composed, but inside, you feel counterfeit.

You can’t sustainably build confidence from a lie — even a well-intentioned one. Real transformation requires honesty about where you are and intentionality about where you’re going. The antidote isn’t more pretending — it’s integration.

A More Grounded Approach: Practice It Till You Become It

Instead of “fake it till you make it,” I like to say:

“Practice it till you become it.”

Practice builds confidence through repetition, not performance. It allows space for honesty, self-correction, and emotional alignment. Becoming who you want to be before you fully feel like that person isn’t an act of deception — it’s an act of courage.

It means showing up for your potential while still nurturing your insecurities. It means acknowledging imposter feelings without letting them define you. And it means trusting that your consistent practice will one day turn those efforts into embodiment.

Closing Thoughts

“Fake it till you make it” captured the world because it hinted at transformation — but what truly changes us isn’t the pretending; it’s the becoming.

Imposter syndrome may show up along the way, but it’s not a sign you’re failing. It’s often proof that you’re evolving — that you’re stepping into spaces where your potential is expanding faster than your comfort zone.

You don’t need to fake who you are.

You just need to practice who you’re becoming — with honesty, grace, and repetition — until the new version of you feels like home.

Because the goal was never to fake your confidence.

It’s to practice your becoming until confidence becomes your natural state.